Trey wrote about Westerns, and it reminded me of this half finished blog post I had written about my (now on hiatus) Carcosa game.

I had pitched the D&D campaign as Masters of the Universe crossed with Carcosa. Looking back at it now, i’m not sure that’s what I was ever really running. It was often goofy and light hearted, which I like, but without all the Masters of the Universe overtones I was hoping to inject. What I had been running, in hindsight, was a Western. Perhaps this is coloured by my reading a Blood Meridian, but it feels like the line between post apocalypse science fiction and the Wild West is quite fine. You have lawlessness, violence, and a collapse of societal norms and obligations in both. My players spend their time wandering a dangerous wilderness, visiting towns with their own rules of law. They go on missions escorting caravans, and hunt slavers for bounty.

Because I am so chronically underprepared, I went with XP for gold as the means of gaining levels. Rather than simply giving people XP for killing slavers directly, I gave my players gold in the form of a bounty in their home base. The end result is they travel the wastes cutting off heads to prove they have killed a vile Jale slaver. Gruesome, no doubt, but it’s all sort of abstract in the game. No one really dwells on the fact they are carting around a big bag of heads. After reading McCarthy’s book it feels far more dark and grizzly. It’s easy to project one story on top of the other.

Westerns are one of my favourite genres of film, but they aren’t what I had intended to run. When I pick up my Carcosa game again I need to think harder about what themes and tropes made Masters of the Universe the show it was. Also, I need to run a D&D game again.

Thanks to the hard working people at Wikipedia we have the following life lessons from He-Man:

1. Man-at-Arms tells viewers they’ll all make mistakes, but to “try, try again” and remain confident.
2. Orko tells viewers some strangers are dangerous, so never accept gifts from or talk to any.
3. Man-at-Arms tells viewers He-Man’s brain helped more than his muscles in that problem, and that brains can and should be exercised.
4. He-Man tells viewers to be cautious, whether or not a public safety official is around.
5. Teela tells viewers caring adoptive parents deserve the same love caring biological parents get.
6. Man-at-Arms tells viewers to first consider whether any practical jokes they play on friends may cause accidental serious injury.
7. Orko tells viewers animals should not be treated as tools, but with kindness and respect.
8. He-Man tells viewers drugs can not make their problems go away, and will often cause more.
9. Teela tells viewers to admit their mistakes rather than lying to cover them up.
10. Teela tells viewers they should question everything that does not seem right, but “Don’t judge a book by its cover”.
11. Teela tells viewers they should obey their parents, who have their best interests at heart when disallowing fun things.
12. Teela tell viewers to check with a doctor before physical exercise, and to start off slow.
13. He-Man tells viewers courage is not so much about braving danger as it is about sticking to personal principles in times of temptation.
14. Orko tells viewers to not eat any strange fruit they find, no matter how alluring, as it might be poisonous.
15. Adam tells viewers to share big problems with someone who cares, rather than feeling ashamed to ask for help.
16. Adam tells viewers money can make others act nicely toward them, but it can not buy a true friend.
17. Zodac tells viewers to protect their ecosystem from wasteful and dangerous pollution.
18. He-Man reminds viewers what Prince Adam said after “Daimar the Demon”; if a problem is too much, ask for help from someone you trust.
19. He-Man tell viewers attention seeking attracts a bad kind of attention, while being polite and helpful makes people like you.
20. Teela tells viewers music can help them feel better, and suggests singing, humming or whistling when sad.
21. Teela tells viewers they may get away with a bad deed for a while, but it will eventually be punished.
22. Teela tells viewers cooperation makes a job easier, and by respecting others’ contrary opinions, they may learn something.
23. Man-at-Arms tell viewers to resist the impulse to do something their wiser parent says is dangerous.
24. Orko tells viewers to appreciate the greatest magic of all during their daily life, which is life itself.
25. He-Man tell viewers anyone can change their bad habits, and the first step is telling themselves, “I can.”
26. Orko tells viewers parental love is the strongest love there is, and suggests telling their parents “I love you”.
27. Orko tells viewers to have three meals each day, and to not overeat.
28. He-Man tells viewers books are a viable entertainment alternative to television.
29. Man-at-Arms tells viewers they owe much to the adventurers through history, bravely facing unknown dangers so we may follow safely.
30. Sorceress tells viewers they all have the Starchild’s invisible power to bring people together; it is called love and is invoked through being kind and gentle.
31. Teela tells viewers to respect trees along with all life, and be a happier person for it.
32. Orko tells viewers to avoid heavy eating or exercise before sleep, which should be at the same time each day.
33. Zodac tells viewers it is just as important to know when to use great power as when to not.
34. Orko tells viewers to admit their mistakes and deal with them, rather than run away.
35. He-Man tells viewers to enjoy nature, but to leave things where they are.
36. He-Man tell viewers of the Magna Carta, which they praise as the first step toward social equality, or “the way it should be”.
37. Man tells viewers that while headbutting walls and doors looks like fun, it is actually quite dangerous.
38. Adam tells viewers to stay out of abandoned buildings, where they could be hurt or trapped.
39. Orko tell viewers repetition and rehearsal are key to remembering things like lines.
40. Man-At-Arms tell viewers to honor their promises, to say what they mean and mean what they say.
41. Orko tells viewers they do not need talent or possessions, they are special just for being themselves and real friends will know it.
42. Teela tells viewers nightmares are no more real than fairy tales, and suggests talking about them with someone.
43. He-Man tells viewers museums are storehouses of knowledge, and knowledge is a power more precious than gold or jewels.
44. Teela tells viewers fear is a common and natural warning of danger, and to heed it without shame or guilt.
45. Man-at-Arms tell viewers that accepting responsibility can instantly turn a boy to a man.
46. He-Man tells viewers not to blindly follow orders from leaders who may be irresponsibly selfish, but consider what is right and wrong for themselves.
47. Man-at-Arms tells viewers to judge people on their behaviour, not their appearance.
48. Man-at-Arms tells viewers to accept and learn from their mistakes, rather than beat themselves up about them.
49. Orko tells viewers carelessness is dangerous, and to “play it safe”.
50. He-Man tells viewers to not let the spirit of competition lead to injuries or anger in games, and to “play it safe”.
51. Teela tells viewers beauty is skin deep, that ugly people are often the “most beautiful to know” and those who look beautiful can be ugly inside.
52. He-Man tells viewers a symbol like a sword can’t make a leader, but intelligence, respect for others and an unselfish desire to do good can.
53. Adam tells viewers historical figures were once real people, like them.
54. He-Man tells viewers the threat of drowning is very real, and to never swim alone.
55. He-Man tells viewers it takes more courage to not fight when someone calls them a coward.
56. Orko tells viewers to not boast when playing games, to be a good winner and a good loser.
57. He-Man tells viewers everybody deserves a second chance, but if they keep getting into trouble, they might not be worth keeping around.
58. Teela tells viewers than being calm and reasonable during arguments, rather than angry, is the best way to solve a problem.
59. Teela tells viewers their parents are their best friends, since they help and care through illness and other bad times.
60. Orko tells viewers to not fear others for looking different, but to appreciate their thoughts and actions.
61. Adam tell viewers to not discriminate by race or religion, rather by actions.
62. Orko tell viewers patience can keep them from rushing into trouble.
63. Teela tells viewers to accept responsibility for their mistakes, and not shift the blame onto others.
64. again tell viewers “Don’t judge a book by its cover”.
65. Teela tell viewers the “Golden Rule” of treating others the way you’d like them to treat you.
66. Orko tells viewers to ask for help with their problems, rather than just feeling sorry for themselves.
67. Orko tell viewers there are vast quantities and varieties of entertainment and information in books.
68. He-Man tells viewers to help their fellow humans when they see a problem too big for one alone.
69. Teela tell viewers that, while human progress will inevitably destroy many trees, it is important to leave some areas of wilderness for everyone to enjoy.
70. Fisto tells viewers to lend a hand when they see others struggling with a task, and to not be too proud to ask for the same.
71. Teela tell viewers meeting responsibilities for a workload breeds dependability, the “first step to becoming a winner”.
72. Orko tells viewers to not discount old people, who often have much wisdom to combine with the vitality of youth, resulting in a better time for everyone.
73. He-Man tells viewers everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves a second chance (as he did in “The Golden Discs of Knowledge”).
74. He-Man tells viewers treating an animal with respect and kindness is far more fun than forcing it to fight.
75. Man tell viewers to keep calm in arguments with friends, lest they say something hurtful they’ll later regret.
76. Man-at-Arms tell viewers the best and quickest way to end a battle is an act of compassion, not of revenge.
77. Teela tells viewers to not “let a few bad apples spoil the bunch”; that is, not blame or judge a group of people for an individual member’s actions.
78. Man-At-Arms tell viewers play is just as important as work, but to always consider the safety rules of any game.
79. Cringer tell viewers to trust their instincts, whether feeling fear or courage.
80. Teela tell viewers a good idea can come from an unexpected place, so to keep an open mind.
81. He-Man tells viewers fears which might be called phobias can often be healthy and normal deterrents from dangers like fire, water or heights.
82. Adam tells viewers accepting a dare is oten a foolish path to trouble, and they should do what they feel is right, regardless of peer pressure.
83. Orko tells viewers a lie not only hurts others, but themselves; lying to cover lies and forgetting which were already told makes a small lie into a big one.
84. Adam tells viewers cooperation can make a tedious or impossible task much easier and even fun.
85. Teela tells viewers to let those who’ve been kind and helpful to them know how much that means.
86. Squinch tells viewers their maximum level of ability isn’t as important as their effort to work at that level.
87. Teela tells viewers to consider the victim’s safety and feelings before playing a practical joke.
88. Orko tells viewers to not take a rumor about someone at face value, and ask for their side of the story before judging.
89. Teela tells viewers to not jump to conclusions; a somewhat bird-like creature lands on her shoulder and repeats this twice.
90. Man-At-Arms tells viewers not to touch or especially ingest anything labeled with a face like Skeletor’s; just like Skeletor, they spell bad news.
91. He-Man tells viewers books are the closest thing they have to a working time machine, while holding three fiction books: Moby Dick, Huckleberry Finn and The Time Machine.
92. Orko tells viewers those with living grandparents are especially lucky.
93. Orko tell viewers if they practice hard at anything they want to do well, the results will eventually surprise them.
94. Orko tell viewers revenge just leads to more revenge, and to forgive rather than continue the cycle.
95. He-Man tells viewers to treat envy not with theft, but by asking politely to share; they might even make a friend.
96. Orko tell viewers their parents punish them to teach right from wrong, not because they like it.
97. Man-At-Arms tells viewers imagination and intelligence are more wonderful than physical strength, and to exercise their brains along with their muscles.
98. Man-At-Arms tells viewers to listen to their conscience, and if they’re still confused after that, ask someone they trust.
99. Adam tells viewers to not gamble with things that aren’t theirs.
100. Man-at-Arms tells viewers to not feel bad for failure, as long as they did the best job they could do.
101. Orko tells viewers not to make up stories or exaggerate, lest nobody trust even their true stories.
102. Man-At-Arms tells viewers to generally be safe, and specifically, to wear a seat belt and not play with fire.
103. Man-At-Arms tells viewers there is no such thing as absolute good or evil in any group. Orko suggests judging people on their actions, more than appearance or even words.
104. Teela tells viewers drugs can make them sick, dead or dangerous, and to check with someone they love before taking any.
105. Teela tells viewers there’s often no time to think about helping a friend, they just have to do it; it may come back to them in an unexpected reward.
106. Man-At-Arms tells viewers to be good winners, showing mercy and respect to defeated opponents.
107. He-Man tells viewers of the unstoppable progression of time and its effect of change.
108. Man-At-Arms tells viewers to resist gluttony and greed.
109. Orko tell viewers sometimes fairy tales come true. The king says acting beautiful matters more than looking ugly.
110. Orko tells viewers to leave potentially dangerous practical jokes to the pros, like him.
111. Marlena tells viewers helping others helps themselves, by making them feel good.
112. Orko tell viewers not to exaggerate in anecdotes, as it can lead to wildly inaccurate gossip and difficulty in discerning truth.
113. Man-At-Arms tells viewers that people with different abilities can combine them into an ability greater than the sum of its parts, and this can make many jobs much easier.
114. Teela tells viewers to be careful when running or climbing, and that it’s more important to get somewhere at all than get there fast.
115. Adam tells viewers it’s fun to lose and to pretend, but that there’s a line between make-believe and outright lying they shouldn’t cross.
116. Orko tell viewers not to take gifts from strangers, or keep any secrets they ask you to keep from parents.
117. Teela tells viewers violence isn’t the best answer to any problem, as it only causes more problems.
118. He-Man tells viewers doing chores keeps a house running smoothly, even if they seem pointless or boring.
119. Man-At-Arms tells viewers they can’t win if they don’t try, so to keep persisting even when it looks hopeless.
120. Ricky tells viewers that having an genuine interest in something makes it seem less like work.
121. Man-At-Arms tells viewers to weigh out all the evidence and consider the sources before jumping to conclusions.

There are 124 episodes of He-Man, sadly three were missing lessons. I was planning on concluding my session re-caps with words of wisdom from He-Man.

Continuing with the theme of my last random encounters for Carcosa, here are an additional set of weird encounters for your PCs to stumble upon.

In How Brightly Coloured Should Carcosa Be? Richard Guy discusses the relationship between He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and Carcosa. It’s probably one of the most enjoyable things i’ve read since getting back into gaming.

With that in mind, here are 16 new hex descriptions for your Carcosa game.